• On Belonging,  On Friendship,  Sisterhood

    The Sisterhood of the Traveling Tiara

    On the rainy afternoon of October 1st, I walked into Dee Dee Peckers, a local wing joint here in Charleston. It was my 43rd birthday, and I had been looking forward to meeting with two fabulous friends all week. Still adjusting to the darkened atmosphere, my eyes scanned the crowd. In a dining area filled with mounted televisions tuned to sports channels and men in work shirts hunched over tables filled with beer and baskets of wings, I saw two hands shoot up and wave me over from the well-lit booth by the window. Doretha Walker, Angie and I were excited about enjoying an afternoon with sister-girlfriends. Like silly school girls,…

  • Permission

    When you hear the call: 5 steps for granting yourself permission

    Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. ~Romans 12:2 (ESV) ~ For me, there is something transforming about fall. Not just the physical changes of the earth–the leaves, the colors, the wind–but something within me…a shift, an awareness, a beckoning. Since entering my 40s, I have been more cognizant of this. My ears have become more attuned to the wind chimes. The fall winds blow and gently awaken that which stirs my soul, and I can hear the whispers of my inner self. It’s…

  • On Being Fearless,  Rising Up

    Let Anger Fuel Determination…then Lose Yourself

    I was feeling hurt…deeply. And that hurt stifled me for a moment. It distracted me and pulled me off course, because that’s what hurt does. It causes you to doubt your calling, your talents, your dreams, your beliefs…your core. Hurt is capable of building only one thing…barriers. These blockades are smoke screens…illusions brought to life by hurt but sustained by your own fears. And they are designed to stop you. I’ve wasted a lot of time in my life pulling down, breaking down and tearing down the barriers that come with hurt. That’s time that should have been spent building things up, creating and bringing good things into existence. Hurt…

  • On Being a Writer,  Seeing Self

    You Are What You Say You Are

    Have you ever felt like a failure? Have you ever had those days when you felt completely paralyzed by a mistake or a setback? Have you ever been ready to give up on a dream because you thought you didn’t have the talent it took to succeed? We’ve all had those ugly moments. Moments when we curl up and lick our wounds, throw a pity party and bathe in self-hate. But what good does that do? If this describes your current state of mind or if you experience these moments more often than not, then I want you to pay close attention to what I am about to say. You…

  • On Words,  On Writing,  Voice

    A Love Affair

    A Love Affair ~ Our link has been tumultuous filled with turbulence and passion Dangerously you’ve escorted me from misery to satisfaction You have cut me and left me wounded, dying, lost in tears Then comforted me in your warm embrace and delivered me from my fears  ~ You’ve been absent from my memory, forgotten, obsolete Only to return again, at my lips we meet You make your presence known when I am naive and unassuming Sometimes you’re softly spoken, at others loudly booming ~  You are there when I am naked, standing all alone Quickly transforming from tender to harsh depending on my tone You are there when I…

  • On Writing

    Letting My Heart Speak…

    For the past few weeks, I have been working on a book. I have been fully immersed in my story. It’s a story that has been waiting to be told for a very long while. It’s a story my heart wants to tell. More specifically, it’s a story my heart has been longing to tell, but just couldn’t. I wasn’t brave enough. I’m still not as brave as I need to be, but I’m hoping that as my story unfolds, my courage will, too. But for a while, the story was stuck. I had hit a dead end, with no where to turn and zero sense of direction. After some…

  • On Being Fearless,  On Breaking Free,  On Endurance,  Rising Up

    I’ll Dance

    I’ll Dance By Donloyn LeDuff Gadson ~ ~ When you gaze upon my withered skin Casting judgments As if you know where I’ve been, I’ll Dance… Even Then, I’ll Dance When my peculiar stillness makes you jeer Scoffing my intelligence Instilling fear I’ll Dance… Even Then, I’ll Dance When you say nothing I touch will ever thrive In your eyes I am barren But inside I remain alive I’ll Dance… Even Then, I’ll Dance When life’s challenges have beat me down Unloved and unwanted Crying tears of a clown I’ll Dance… Even Then, I’ll Dance When the forces working against me, devise a treacherous scheme The elements, in all their…

  • Voice,  Writing

    Dead End: When the Story Feels Stuck

    Sometimes, we have a story to tell. A story that is dying, begging, pleading to come out. A story that insists on being told. An experience or reflection that is too powerful not to share. But telling stories isn’t always that easy. Sharing voice, as simple as it seems, often comes with complications, rough roads and dead ends. Sometimes, the story just gets stuck. I’m currently working on a book that is requiring me to delve deeply, to share things I’ve never shared, to write things I never thought I’d have the courage to write, to share my truth while revealing the mistakes of another. That scared me. I was…

  • On Friendship

    Just Be Awesome!

    Ask me my favorite color, and I won’t be able to give you an answer. Correction…I’ll give you an answer, but then I’ll change it. And change it again, and again. And then I’ll conclude with the same thought that always seems to hit me like an epiphany, even though I’ve been through this same exchange time and time again… “I just love all colors! I can’t choose!” Don’t believe me? Just ask the young lady who does my nails. Selecting a polish color is a challenge. And even after I’ve chosen one, I want to change it, and change it again. Thankfully, she’s patient with me. But, for me, this…

  • On Breaking Free,  Purpose

    now SHINE on!

    “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16, KJV ~ Sadly, some people don’t know how to Shine. They have dimmed their lights and, in a strange twist of fate, have become blinded by the dullness. Why? Their limiting beliefs prevent them from radiating, or even receiving, brightness. Internal untruths that diminish your purpose and silence your voice are limiting beliefs. They are dangerous. They are used as weapons against the self. But they can also be used against others. When these personal beliefs about one’s self are cast upon or projected upon someone else, they…